Am I a wuss or am I a wuss?

It was a lovely summer's evening tonight so, rather than sitting in front of a screen like I do too often, I went out into my little garden. I am not a Gardener, I do not Garden, I play in the garden. I do not know what I'm doing. 

I like foxgloves and I was given some seeds so I had a go last year and *colour me stupid* I grew gorgeous flowers. So I tried again this year. Foxglove seeds are tiny and it's impossible to plant one at a time. You sow lots and hope for the best. 

But I hate, hate, HATE thinning them out! It feels like I'm killing my babies – okay, maybe not. But it is playing God. You can live, you will die, you die and you and you…

I ended up with a big pile of dead bodies seedling that were just thrown away.

I am a wuss. I don't want to be God.

50 tell-tale signs of getting old

There was a recent study which said there are 50 tell tale signs you're getting older. Try the test and see how many apply to you. I scored 23.

Trouble is I'm sure I would have scored 22 when I was 18. I've *always* like comfy shoes and being warm. Does that mean I've always been old? Probably.

But I know more about current music than most teenagers. My kid is forever telling me I should like Cliff Richard not the Kings of Leon. He just wrong. 

How many of the 50 signs of getting old apply to you?

1. Feeling stiff
2. Groaning when you bend down
3. Saying “it wasn’t like that when I was young”
4. Saying “in my day”
5. Losing hair
6. You don’t know any songs in the top ten
7. Getting more hairy – ears, eyebrows, nose, face etc
8. Hating noisy pubs
9. Talking a lot about joints / ailments
10. Forgetting people’s names
11. Choosing clothes and shoes for comfort rather than style
12. Thinking policemen / teachers / doctors look really young
13. Falling asleep in front of the TV
14. Needing an afternoon nap
15. Finding you have no idea what young people are talking about
16. Struggling to use technology
17. Losing touch with everyday technology such as tablets and televisions
18. When you start complaining about more things
19. Wearing your glasses around your neck
20. Not remembering the name of any modern bands
21. You avoid lifting heavy things due to back concerns
22. Complaining about the rubbish on television these days
23. Misplacing your glasses / bag / keys etc
24. You move from Radio one to Radio Two
25. You start driving very slowly
26. Preferring a night in with a board game than a night on the town
27. Taking a keen interest in The Antiques Road Show
28. You talk to colleagues who are so young they don’t know what an Opal Fruit is
29. Taking slippers to friends’ houses
30. Listening to the Archers
31. Falling asleep after one glass of wine
32. Never going out without your coat
33. Getting bed socks for Christmas and being very grateful
34. When you can’t lose six pounds in two days any more
35. Gasping for a cup of tea
36. Taking a flask of tea or coffee on a day out
37. Joining the WI
38. Taking a keen interest in the garden
39. Spending more money on face creams / anti-ageing products
40. Spending money on the home / furniture rather than a night on the town
41. Taking a keen interest in dressing for the weather
42. Putting everyday items in the wrong place
43. Obsessive gardening or bird feeding
44. Really enjoying puzzles and crosswords
45. Always driving in the slow lane, or below 70 in the middle lane
46. Consider going on a ‘no children’ cruise for a holiday
47. Your ears are getting bigger
48. Joining the National Trust
49. Drinking sherry
50. Feeling you have the right to tell people exactly what you are thinking even if it isn’t polite

Results
1 - 20 - You're young at heart but secretly love crosswords and use anti-ageing products just in case. 

20 - 35 - You've started taking your tea in a flask out with you and can't stand Radio 1. Stay away from the sherry to keep feeling young. 

35 - 50 - Now you have most of the ageing signs it's time to accept you probably aren't just growing old - you are old. Enjoy being warmer than everyone around you and tell them so.

A change is as good as a mess

I read in a magazine (at the dentist, of course) that you that you shouldn't wear the same makeup style for too long, that a change would give you a whole new image. I need a new image. I need a full body transplant but a new image will do. So I hit the make up store and spent more than I can afford.

The eye shadow makes me look like one of those old ladies that have blue-rinses in the hair. The red lipstick leaves me looking like either A) a pole dancer or B) a Japanese painted doll.

I knew there was a reason why I kept to the same type of make up, it's because it SUITS ME!

But the very worst is my new mascara. I wanted to look like one of those luscious models with mile long eyelashes that frame their eye dramatically. I have long lashes all right, but they're stuck together!!!

I look a right twerp.

All about me

I've had a revamp of this blog and I think it looks bright and perky. Now I need to revamp the content.

But what to write about? That has always been my problem. I read some advice about blogging and they said write what you think any potential audience might want to read about. I tried that and ran out of subjects in a few weeks.

So *takes a deep breath* I'm going back to the old adage of write what you know. I'm going to write about all the random, odd things that come into my head.

I was watching the comedian Reginald D Hunter on TV a few days ago and he said we should take those words other people use to put us down and embrace them so they can't hurt us. I'm going to try it.

Here goes….

I am a woman of a certain age.

That's a horrible phrase but it's true and I'm embracing it furiously. I'd quite like to be a woman with a mysterious past but I think I've left it too late for that. I'd settle for a being the woman from Jenny Joseph's poem….

Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

But I haven't got the energy most of the time.

The poem was actually written before I was born but it's so apt. 

So I'm going to talk about anything and everything from my garden to kids, from the BEAUTIFUL young boy I saw at the garden centre and how he made my heart melt and my breath catch… yes, he really was that beautiful, to my random obsessions. From the everyday boring tings in my life to why I like m/m slash/porn when het stuff does nothing for me. 

I'm intrinsically lazy, a bit of a control freak, prone to weird obsessions about things no one else cares about. I don't like stress or pressure of any sort and I'm happiest on a sunbed, in the shade, reading a good book. Oh and I have a real fondest for a cold glass of Pinot Grigio (and most other alcohol) chocolate, cake and any food deemed bad for me/fattening.

I am going to be me. I even bought a new purple cardigan to get me started. 

Bumblebees

I was watching the bumblebees in my garden this afternoon, buzzing lazily from flower to flower in the sunshine. They don't have to worry about paying the mortgage or getting a job (or keeping a job) or having their car stolen or about their parents getting ill. They just collect nectar from the prettiest flowers, pollinating as they go, and we're all very grateful to them for doing such a vital job.

I know they don't live very long and they have to work for the queen but they also don't have to worry whether their new boss will be in a bad mood tomorrow or not. Their short life isn't filled with hassle and pressure. I think I might come back as a bumblebee in my next life.

For one thing I'd really like to make my neighbour run around his garden chasing bumblebee-me with a rolled up newspaper! He wouldn't catch me and he didn't catch the one today. It was in the garden: why didn't he just go inside until it flew away? Silly man, but he made me forget all the stress and smile.

Thank you Mr Bumblebee. 

Knights and Butterscotch

I just got the front cover for my new book "Knights and Butterscotch" from Total E-Bound and it's Gorgeous!

It's due out... Preorder: 12th August 2013
Prerelease: 26th August 2013
General release: 23rd September 2013

 

Ever had one of those times when everything just sort of overwhelms you?

For the last few weeks I've had an awful lot on in RL. They've all been nice things but very time and energy consuming. As a result all the fun things in my life have had to take a back seat. I'm hoping that things will improve soon as I have lots I want to do but the sun is shining so who cares about my pigsty house, I'm going out in the garden!

It will probably be raining tomorrow.